I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
