Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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