my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
