and next time when you feel me up, do it right
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize