He had one of those small greek statue penises
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need water and some morals
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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