Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
