12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
