Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
