if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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