I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
