The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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