dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My hand turned me down
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
