you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm sobbing to NWA
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
