Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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