Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
