so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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