oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
