I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
