Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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