guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize