Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
