i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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