Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
