Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize