He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Come see our sink grown plant.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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