Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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