so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
