Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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