So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
