In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
