at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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