: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
