Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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