He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
