I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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