This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
