and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
NoShamevember. You game?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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