just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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