Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
