thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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