Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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