just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
