First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
