So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it was like his penis was on wheels.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
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