i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
