If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize