k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he fucked my hip out of place.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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