my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
