Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
