Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
