That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
