he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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