To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
