you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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