If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
