no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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