i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
